TAXI TIP THURSDAY: Cab Sharing

 
In my spare time as Ted Greenberg, Off-Broadway comedy delight, I drive a New York City cab. This holiday season when cabs are scarce, try sharing.  It saves money and frustration – and, the extra bodies will absorb shock in case of collision.
 
Here are some tips:
 
FINDING A FELLOW RIDER
 
If no sharing stations are in sight, scout partners on your own.  Look for signs of money; a Marc Jacobs bag, Mark Jacobs himself, or even better, Uma Thurman; avoid police officers and anyone else who might be carrying pepper spray.
 

 
 THE APPROACH
 
If you see someone you want to ride with, be direct. Grab them by the shoulders, say, “Clear eyes, full hearts can’t lose” and ”Upper West Side!” If they motion to flee, show them this blog post.

 BACK-SEAT RAPPORT
 
Once you hail a cab, don’t tell anyone your social security number, no matter how much you want to or how many guns they are pointing at you. If things get hairy back there, remember under the driver’s seat is usually a baseball bat.
 

 
AWKWARD SMALL TALK
 
If a person is jabbering about one thing or the other, it’s ok to say, “Driver would you please pull over? “ And push them out of the car.
 
And finally:
 
PRICE NEGOTIATION
 
The best tactic is to get out at your stop, wish them a Merry Christmas, and yell “I’ll get the next one!”

Related posts:

1. Taxi Tip Thursday: How To Hail a NYC Cab During the Holidays
2. All Ted Greenberg Wants for Christmas
3. What to Expect at Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer