|10 Reasons Why the Giants Will Beat the Falcons
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Posted: January 6, 2012
by Ted Greenberg
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On Sunday, January 8th, the New York Giants will take on the Atlanta Falcons in the first round of the NFL play-offs. The showdown will commence at 1:00 pm at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
My Mascot and I predict a victory for the Giants. In honor of our favorite #10, Eli Manning, here are the top 10 reasons why Big Blue will win.
WHY THE GIANTS WILL WIN & THE FALCONS SUCK
#1 The Falcons are a pampered dome team. They are unprepared for air.
#2 Victor Cruz has secret access to JLo / Jerry Rice Dancing With the Stars audition tapes.
#3 Eli Manning. Can you say 15 fourth-quarter touchdowns this season?
#4 New York has Jewish ownership. Atlanta has Jewish ownership. Actually, this one is a toss up. Mazel Tov.
#5 The Giants have an secret mascot. Jewish. That’s right – Mascot Greenberg!
#6 Mascot Greenberg trained with Jason Pierre-Paul at the iBowl Back Flip Contest.
#7 Freddie Falcon, the Atlanta Falcon mascot, is a crack whore.
#8 The Atlanta Falcons have a cheerleading squad. The Giants have Lisbeth Salander, aka Rooney Mara, whose family has owned at least part of the franchise since its founding in 1925.
#9 Mascot Greenberg re-enacted all plays of the 2007 Super Bowl in Modell’s varsity shop
#10 In real life, don’t you think a giant would defeat a falcon?
Tags: Atlanta Falcons, Eli Manning, fourth quarter, Freddie Falcon, iBowl Back Flip Contest, Jason Pierre-Paul, Jerry Rice, Lisbeth Salander, Mascot Greenberg, MetLife Stadium, Modell's 2008 Super Bowl, New York Giants, NFL Playoffs, Rooney Mara, Ted Greenberg, touchdowns, Victor Cruz