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Comedian-Cabbie Ranks Oscars Fashion

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 27, 2012

Let’s face it. The Oscars water cooler moment isn’t who won last night, but rather who wore what. Fashion reigns supreme. The 84th Annual Academy Awards did not disappoint in that regard. Last night, I was stunned right off the bat with E! host Giuliana Rancic‘s nod to old school Hollywood glamor. She would make a perfect MVP at my Off Broadway comedy show, The Complete Performer, which I end wearing a tux.
As a dapper man about town, here’s my rundown of the trends and gowns that left impressions for better or for worse.

5. Angelina Jolie
got a lot of mileage out or her right leg with the deep slit in her black gown. I’m not complaining although I loved that screenwriter winners Jim Rash and Nat Faxon mocked the one-legged pose while Alexander Payne gave their acceptance speech. Her leg already has a Twitter account with 10,000 followers.
Angelina Jolie
4. Last night felt like a return to the 80s with all the gold lamé. Stacey Kiebler and Meryl Streep made me long for the original, one-and-only Alexis Carrington (aka Joan Collins). Sorry ladies, but you need divatude to pull off that weird, shiny fabric.
Alexis Carrington, Stacey Kiebler, Meryl Streep
3. It’s true. Women dress for other women, not for me. How else can you explain the explosion of sequined gowns on the red carpet? Rose Byrne. Anna Faris. Melissa Leo. Have you ever tried to put your arm around a woman in a sequined gown? Don’t. It’s dangerous.
Rose Byrne and Anna Faris, Oscars
2. Rooney Mara dropped her edgy black, cut out look for a little demure, 1920s white number. Her sister Kate was pretty in pinkish. Go Giants.
Rooney Mara and Kate Mara, Oscar
1. Gwyneth Paltrow was simply elegant in her white dress with a cape. Guys love capes. Guys also love Gwyneth Paltrow. Perfect combination.
Gwyneth Paltrow, Oscars

How about that dunk contest?

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