Ted Greenberg's The Complete Performer

Starring Emmy Award winning Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg!

     
Wishes for the New Year | 2013 Edition

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Posted: January 3, 2013
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Welcome to Lucky Number Thirteen. After the way 2012 ended, I think we are all hoping for a little more luck, joy and happiness. Last year, I set out a number of resolutions, 12 in fact, — some of them (looking at you #4) that I was better at keeping than others (sad to say #8 did not happen). This year, in honor of 2013, I am making 13 wishes — things I hope will come true. Not just for me, but for the world.
 
13. That Scarlett Johansson is amazing in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Of course, if she isn’t, that won’t bother me one bit.
 
Scarlett Johansson
 
12. That the New York Giants regain their swagger and at least make a playoff run next season.
 
11. One of Mascot’s marriages has long term appeal. And by “long term,” I mean lasting longer than 60 minutes.
 
10. Mother Nature is nice to my beloved city. Post-Sandy, we need some luck in this regard.
 
9. Likewise, the 2013 ING New York City Marathon can happen. And as many people who trained for the 2012 edition get to run.
 
8. If I do not see Wicked on Broadway, I will at least read the book which inspired the musical.
 
Wicked on Broadway
 
7. I know I drive a cab at the end of my show for fun and because it’s an iconic symbol for the Big Apple. But, after all the recent subway deaths, I’m concerned for my fellow New Yorkers and audience members. Here’s to no more subway fatalities in 2013.
 
6. That all of the froyo, ice cream and frozen sweet treat stores (16 Handles, Red Mango, Pinkberry, Ben & Jerry’s) all make it through the summer. Who doesn’t love a little sweet, cold dessert in the middle of a sweltering summer?
 
5. That I watch the Polar Bear Run next New Year’s Day. No way in hell I’m getting in that ice cold water, but I will cheer on others. Perhaps with the e Mascot in tow.
 
4. Have the Mascot enter the July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest. How many do you think he will eat?
 
Ted Greenberg and The Mascot
 
3. Support my favorite local businesses like Milk & Cookies, which has been so great to my show Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer.
 
2. That you see my show sometime in 2013. If you do, you’ll understand what I mean about the Mascot’s marriages. What else are you doing 10:00 pm on a Saturday night?
 
1. That Kim Kardashian and Kanye West name the “Kimye” baby after me. Kinda. In keeping with the ‘K’ naming tradition, how about KED? It rhymes with Ted, and like the brown-haired beauty I know about short marriages, having racked up one myself.
 
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West



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