Ted Greenberg's The Complete Performer

Starring Emmy Award winning Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg!

     
Mascot Greenberg Unveils His 2012 Resolutions

Categories: Latest News
Posted: January 2, 2012
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Today I turn my blog over to my silent, yet dance-loving mascot, Mascot Greenberg. He’s my trusty sidekick every Saturday night during Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer. The least I can do is share his 2012 resolutions.

 
Mascot Greenberg and Ted Greenberg, post-show
 
MASCOT GREENBERG’S 2012 RESOLUTIONS

 
#1 Become a Zumba instructor. The dance-fitness craze keeps me toned and in shape to entertain audiences every week at the SoHo Playhouse. Now, it’s time for me to give back and teach others the moves that have changed my life.
 

#2 Master the t-shirt cannon.
If Mr. Met can do this, it cannot be that hard.
 

 
#3 Make polygamy legal. I love all of my wives. If you’ve seen Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, you will understand. If not, find out what I’m talking about.
 
Mascot Greenberg and his wives
 

#4 Make alimony illegal.
See #3.
 
#5 Improve my handball game. I must beat Ted in 2012.
 


#6 Learn how to “Dougie.”
It’s time to expand my dancing moves this year.
 

 
Mascot Greenberg would love to hear from YOU. What are your top resolutions for 2012?



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Cabbie Ted Greenberg Makes His Resolutions for 2012

Categories: Taxi Cabs
Posted: December 29, 2011
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TAXI TIP THURSDAY: CABBIE RESOLUTIONS

To take a break from my role as Ted Greenberg, Off-Broadway hero, occasionally I take the wheel of a yellow cab.

Ted Greenberg celebrates 2012.

Here are my cabbie resolutions for the 2012 New Year:

GENERAL/OVERALL

Ted Greenberg's general resolutions for 2012

#1 Stay positive in traffic court.

#2 Play more top-10 radio.

#3 Get 3 stars before moving to the next level in Angry Birds.

#4 Zero hit-and-runs (except cyclists – Kidding!).

#5 Ease off Gummy candies.

#6 Avoid paparazzi – i.e, no accidents that make traffic reports (not kidding)

THIS YEAR (at least once!)

#7 While crossing 59th Street Bridge, sing 59th Street Bridge song (aka “Feeling Groovy” by Simon & Garfunkel!) .

#8 See Wicked on Broadway.

#9 Travel to Staten Island (if customer insists).

DAILY

Ted Greenberg's daily resolutions for 2012

#10 Use Shake Weights.

#11 Shave, clip nails, and deodorize only at red lights.

AS IT ARISES

Zuccotti Park in Manhattan

#12 When tourists ask for Trump Park, take them to Zuccotti Park instead.

May your ride in the new year be safe and enjoyable. And make one of your resolutions to see Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, A Mostly One-Man Comedy Show.

Any questions? I love’em.

Any resolutions? Send them along. Favorite resolution wins 2 tickets to the show.

Check back next Thursday for more taxi info and tips.



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BUT TICKETS!




 



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