Ted Greenberg's The Complete Performer

Starring Emmy Award winning Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg!

Mascot Offers Fashion Tips

Categories: Latest News
Posted: September 10, 2012

Last week, I listed my top five fashion tips, just in time for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week to begin. Before the fashion frenzy closes on Thursday, Mascot Greenberg, my trusty sidekick for Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, wanted to get in on the action.
Here are the Top Five Fashion Tips from Mascot Greenberg:

5. The 80s Never Went Out of Style. The decade of Reagan, Crocodile Dundee and the Chia Pet did bring some good things to life. Namely shoulder pads. If you’ve got a ginormous head like I do, shoulder pads help balance your look. They worked for the ladies of Dynasty, Kate & Allie and Designing Women. Shoulder pads also worked their magic on Crockett and Tubbs, making those handsome devils from Miami Vice look a little more imposing. As I say, always trust Don Johnson.
Miami Vice
4. LMFAO Has Gotten Something Right. I’m a big fan of stripes, plaids and rainbows. Anything that looks like it would fit on a 1980s (there we go again) metal rockin’ head banger, but with a modern twist. Now, what’s interesting about Redfoo, half of the duo LMFAO, is that he brings them all together in a fusion of color, texture and patterns. Not sure how exactly he works it, but his clothing sure looks like a lot of fun.
Redfoo, LMFAO
3. Epaulets Are a Guy’s Best Friend. Girls may have diamonds. We, guys, have epaulets. I’m a huge fan of pageantry and officialdom. Oh, and a little band called The Beatles. How solid do Paul, John, Ringo and George look in this attire? As they say, men in uniforms drive women crazy. Believe me, it’s the epaulets.
The Beatles
2. Vans Aren’t Just for the Road. I dance, prance and move around the stage a lot during the Saturday night comedy show Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer. And my trusty shoes are Vans. I don’t hit a dance floor without them. They look sharp, and they let me do my sharp moves.
Vans shoes
1. Kings Have the Right Idea. When you’ve got a head as large as Mascot Greenberg, it’s better to stay away from hats, chapeaus or visors. They just make your head look larger. Instead, embrace crowns, which are decorative and regal. I wear one every Saturday night, and constantly get compliments on it. Just how I roll.
Mascot Greenberg & Ted Greenberg wear the crowns

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Top Five Fashion Tips from a Life-Long New York Comedian

Categories: Latest News
Posted: September 6, 2012

Mercedes Benz Fashion Week rolls into New York City September 6 through 13. The New York Times is already on the case, wondering in this article which celebrities will populate the front rows over the next week. Now, if you haven’t scored one of those coveted tickets to Holmes & Yang or Marc Jacobs, don’t fret. I’ve got some great fashion tips for you, Ryan Lochte and Pippa Middleton as well as all of those Olympians who will be seen among the glitterati at Fashion Week. That’s right, as a lifelong New Yorker, comedian and performer of Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, I’ve learned a few fashion tricks of the trade.
Here are my top five tips for looking cool in the Big Apple:
5. Cuffed Pants Are a Big No No.
As summer comes to a close, I want to offer you some very sage advice. I don’t care if you spend your July and August on a yacht or Cape Cod, there is no excuse for cuffed pants. At least not for any guy over eight-years-old. No one has looked good in those pants since the bad boys of the 1950s. And preppy cool cannot save the look in 2012. Take my word for it, and you’ll be a bigger hit with the opposite sex next summer.
Cuffed Pants
#4 Dickies Can Be a Man’s Best Friend. If you’ve seen my weekly comedy show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, you will already appreciate the dickie. But, if you haven’t, let me school you. New York can be a cold town. Temperature wise, that is. And a dickie offers a little neck coverage and warmth without having to pile on a full extra layer. Trust me. Use one and you will love it.
gray dickie
3. Black Shoes Are the Best. I learned a number of things from my dad…card tricks and that black shoes are the only ones to wear. If you want to look stylin’, forgo those tan, gray or taupe shoes. They don’t do your feet any favors. Black is the only color. For shoes. Ask any New Yorker. They know.
Black Shoes
2. ZZ Top Said It. Every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man. Sure that was decades ago, and we can argue about their hirsuteness. But, there’s a reason why you’ll see me in a tuxedo at my show. Tuxes never go out of style. So, go ahead and get your tux now, guys. You can thank me later.
Ted Greenberg and Mascot Greenberg
1. Unitards Never Go Out of Style. Preferred by bodybuilders, illusionists and unicyclists, unitards make quite a fashion statement, even in New York City, a city where anything goes. I know Bruno and Borat, Sascha Baron Cohen‘s alter egos, have made the unitard a point of ridicule in recent years. But, don’t believe everything you see. Unitards not only show off a guy’s gams and guns, they differentiate the brave from the cowardly. You’ve got to have the ‘stuff’ to wear one. Check out this photo from the Milan runway last year to see what I mean.
Male unitard

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