Tomorrow, a new movie opens across the country. A comedy film that bears my name: Ted. The film is the brainchild of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane and stars Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis (who voices the daughter on Family Guy) and the voice of MacFarlane as a trouble-making teddy bear who goes by the name of Ted.
 
With the release of Ted, I rank my favorite things and people who share my given name. Here are the top five Teds:
 
5) TED: ideas worth spreading. TED — which stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design — launched in 1984 as a platform to engage and enlighten people about the latest thoughts and discussions in the aforementioned fields. These days, thanks to technology, you don’t have to travel to the conferences to enjoy the speeches and talks. Just visit its web site. How fantastic to have my name associated with something so smart.

 

 
4) TED KENNEDY. May he rest in peace. The youngest of the Kennedy brothers to serve in office, Teddy’s career was often challenged by scandal, but he was a terrific statesman. Unlike many politicians today, he made friends across the aisle and brokered deals that would be unheard of in today’s bipartisan circus. Plus, he gave great speeches.
 

 
3) TED DANSON. He has entertained America for three decades. From the winning sitcom Cheers where he played a washed up Red Sox pitcher to the bromance I raved about on Bored to Death, Danson has made us laugh hard. He’s also done drama. He was fantastic on Damages, and can currently be seen opposite Elisabeth Shue on CSI. One of my favorite Danson movies is Cousins, a remake of a French film (like his Three Men in a Baby was). In that film which also starred William Petersen, who preceded Danson on CSI, Danson plays a romantically challenged, financially strapped dance instructor named Larry. His very wealthy uncle, though, pays him the ultimate compliment, “Larry is a failure at everything except life.” In my book Danson succeeds wildly.
 

 
2) CAMIKNICKERS AKA TEDDY. Yes, before it was called a Teddy, lingerie had the horrible sounding moniker Camiknickers (a combo of camisole and knickers). Thank goodness my name came to the rescue. Teddy has a way sexier ring to it, don’t you think?
 
1) TED BAXTER. TED KNIGHT. Two Teds equal perfection. Ted Knight played Ted Baxter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show in the 1970s. Was there anyone better at portraying an egotistical blowhard and still making you love him despite hating him? Knight spun Baxter into comedy gold, literally, winning two Emmy Awards for his portrayal of the vain newsman. If you have not seen the show, do yourself a favor and watch an episode or two. In the meantime, here’s a clip from the show.
 

 
And, if you’re in the mood for some comedy this Saturday night or any other, you can catch me, Ted Greenberg, on stage at Soho Playhouse in downtown Manhattan every Saturday night at 10:00 pm in Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer. Hope to see you soon.