Ted Greenberg's The Complete Performer

Starring Emmy Award winning Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg!

2012 New York Improvisation Comedy Awards

Categories: Comedy Shows,Latest News
Posted: February 6, 2012

Every week at my mostly one-man comedy show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, I hold an awards ceremony for audience members.
As a crack improviser and firecracker at large, I know a thing or two about on-the-spot making stuff up.
So today I honor New York City’s great improv performance clubs. Like my show, all the award winners are a helluva good time and forgo the 2-drink minimum of conventional comedy clubs.
Goes to The PIT. No club tries harder to please audiences and improv students. And a sexier club bar does not exist. Original NYC home of my favorite improvisers, TJ & Dave. If you get the chance, take founder/comedy legend, Ali Farahnakian’s level 6 class.
the PIT
Goes to The Creek in the Cave. The homemade salsa sampler is worth the trip to Long Island City, Afterwards savor a midnight show.
The Creek & The Cave Logo
Goes to UCB. On any given night you might see alums Tina Fey or Amy Poehler on the boards.
UCB logo

Goes to the Magnet Theater. Great Mojo and the best improv summer camp in the biz.
Magnet Theater

Go Giants! I am thrilled that Princess the camel was right about the New York Football Giants winning the Super Bowl. Great prediction Princess!

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What To Do in New York City The Day Before the Super Bowl

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 2, 2012

Athletes are notoriously superstitious and often follow the same pre-game ritual to ensure victory. With the biggest game — the Super Bowl — on the line for the New York Football Giants, I recommend the G-Men’s fans to follow this routine to guarantee a victory over the New England Patriots on Sunday, February 5th in Indianapolis.

The winning game plan for Saturday, February 4th is as follows:

1) In the morning, visit the Bowling Green Station in downtown Manhattan as it’s on the ticker tape parade route if Big Blue wins the Lombardi Trophy. Say a prayer that Eli Manning will lead the Giants to victory the following day.
Giants Ticker Tape Parade
2) Speaking of Eli, it’s reported his favorite food is meat balls. Stop by The Meatball Shop — outposts on Greenwich Avenue and Stanton Street in Manhattan and on Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn — and gobble up a slider, smash or hero. Do it for the team.
The Meatball Shop sliders
3) In the afternoon, make a pilgrimage to the site of the former Polo Grounds — 155th Street and Manhattan Avenue. The New York Giants won three NFL Championships during its 30-year stay at the Polo Grounds. Light a candle, acknowledge the team’s history and prepare for another Super Bowl win.
4) Have dinner at Mickey Mantle’s Restaurant and Bar. You will be surrounded by fellow sports fans, and let’s face it, Mantle was an iconic player for arguably the best franchise in sports history — the New York Yankees. That team has won 27 championships.
Mickey Mantle's in New York City
5) Finish the night off with a visit to my show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer. You’ll get a good dose of comedy and the chance to blow off steam before the big day. And, my Mascot and I have worn Giants t-shirts throughout the playoffs during the show. We believe we’ve done our part to help Big Blue win thus far.
Ted Greenberg and Mascot Greenberg

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Thank Goodness for Kristin Chenoweth

Categories: Latest News
Posted: January 23, 2012

As a rabid New York Giants fan, my heart stopped a few times during yesterday’s game until hero Lawrence Tynes kicked the game-winning field goal. I was proud of Big Blue’s special teams and impressed by both teams’ defense.
The most important thing, though, that I take from the game: gratitude. Performing my Off-Broadway comedy show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, every Saturday night at SoHo Playhouse is a joy. And, I’m thrilled that I’m part of a community that birthed dynamic Tony Award-winning and Emmy-winning actress Kristin Chenoweth. The Oklahoma native performed just blocks away from SoHo Playhouse in the longest running musical, The Fantasticks, at the now defunct Sullivan Street Playhouse. Yesterday, her operatic vocals packed a punch, even drowning out the San Francisco Forty-Niners fans’ boos of my beloved Giants as she beautifully sang the National Anthem.

I don’t possess Ms. Chenoweth’s powerful pipes, but that’s what makes New York the best city on earth: the diversity of performers on Off-Broadway, Broadway and beyond. When you’re in the market for a 10:00 pm Saturday night comedy show, check out my show and meet me and my Mascot.

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I Predict the Giants Do It Again

Categories: Latest News
Posted: January 20, 2012

New York Giant score prediction:
Giants 24, Niners + Referees 20.

The zebras couldn’t take victory away from us in Green Bay and they won’t in San Francisco.

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Categories: Latest News
Posted: January 17, 2012

As a taxi driver and current Off-Broadway darling, I know a lot about football.
New York Giants beat Packers

The Giants swept aside the Packers in Green Bay on Sunday. They prevailed through grit, cunning, and despite suspect home-field officiating throughout (bad spots, late hits, chronic holding, and a fumble deemed to be a turnover by everyone in the world but 2 high-ranking zebras = refs). The Giants responded to shoddy refereeing with sustained play so strong as to be undeniable.

And it wasn’t just on Sunday. Of late, teams are permitted to appeal unfavorable rulings by means of a challenge flag. Giant head coach Tom Coughlin’s last 8 challenges have been denied. That’s the longest current streak in the league. But the 8-challenge losing streak coincides with a 4-game winning streak against top opponents. That’s an awesome inverse relationship. Close–calls-against-us and wins.

Rather than sulk or finger-point, the Giants persevere. As a lifelong Giants fan I love that. As a New Yorker I’m proud of it. In my personal and professional life I aspire to it. And so does my mascot.

Yes, I have my own mascot (given the choice who wouldn’t?). And my mascot hasn’t missed a performance of Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer in over 3 years and despite much adversity.

Throughout 2010 my mascot performed with a separated shoulder.
Winter in New York City
Every one of my shows ends with a cab ride home for winning audience members. In the 22-inch snow storm of ’09 my mascot was with me in the front seat.

See my show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, and you’ll see why my mascot is a New York Giant.

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Five Reasons the Giants Took the Packers Down

Categories: Latest News
Posted: January 16, 2012

    The New York Football Giants are on a roll. Last night, they scored a commanding 37 – 20 victory over likely League MVP Aaron Rodgers and the defending Super Bowl champions Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field.
    Mascot Greenberg and Eli Manning's journey
    Here are the top five things I take from their victory:
    1) You’re as good as your quarterback. Eli Manning is playing lights out football. Even his end-of-the-half ‘Hail Mary’ pass to Hakeem Nicks connected. What a phenomenal play.
    2) Defense wins games. Last week, the Giants defensive line did not allow a point. This week, they gave up 20, but sacked Rodgers four times. Four times.
    3) For the second week in a row, my Mascot and I wore Giants t-shirts while performing my show Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer on Saturday night. I believe that our team spirit brings Big Blue luck, and vow to wear these shirts until the Giants win the Super Bowl.
    4) Tom Coughlin knows how to win playoff games on the road. He’s thisclose to tying Tom Landry’s record for most playoff wins on the road. I predict he will tie the legendary Dallas Cowboys coach next week against the San Francisco Niners.
    5) It’s how you finish a season, not how you start it or how you play in the middle. From the Jets win on, the Giants have looked like a different team than just a few games before. They are confident and playing like a Super Bowl-bound team.
    Go Meryl Streep. No one can stop that woman.

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    My Golden Globes Predictions

    Categories: Latest News
    Posted: January 13, 2012
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    The Golden Globes ceremony has a lot in common with my weekly Off-Broadway show — Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer. The audience sits around tables, everyone gets a little tipsy and you never know what’s going to happen next. As an Emmy Award winner, I salute the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for one of my favorite Sunday nights of the year.
    Golden Globe Awards

    On January 15th, I will be glued to the television, watching the 2012 Golden Globes, for five reasons:

    Golden Globes nominees and host

    #1) Ricky Gervais.
    No one expected him to be invited back to host the event after his scathing comments last year. Who and what will he make fun of this year? My money is on two-time nominee Ryan Gosling.
    #2) The Ladies of the Best Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy. Normally, Golden Globe winners Kate Winslet and Jodie Foster are better known for their dramatic work, but are nominated this year in Roman Polanski‘s dark comedy Carnage, an adaptation of the hit Broadway play. Michelle Williams is transcendent in anything she’s done post-Dawson’s Creek. Charlize Theron was heartbreakingly funny (alongside the fantastic Patton Oswalt) in Young Adult. And, Kristen Wiig may be my favorite in this category; her performance (and writing of) Bridesmaids was so hilarious I’ve started listening to Wilson Phillips again.
    #3) Alec Baldwin. He is a comedy master. My girlfriend likens his performance as Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock to Rip Torn’s fantastic turn as Arthur in The Larry Sanders Show. She’s right. Watch and learn.
    #4) Enlightened. I have meant to watch this show. Now, that it’s got a Golden Globe nomination for Best Television Series — Comedy or Musical — and a renewal for a second season, I must watch it.
    #5) Rooney Mara. She helped my team, the New York Giants, win against the Atlanta Falcons last weekend. So, I’m rooting for her at the Golden Globes. And the Giants to beat the Green Bay Packers earlier in the day!

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    My Favorite Place to Watch Giants Games: Jake’s Saloon

    Categories: Latest News
    Posted: January 9, 2012
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    Congrats to the New York Giants on their compelling victory over the Atlanta Falcons yesterday. As I predicted, Freddie Falcon’s team could not hold a candle to Jason Pierre-Paul and the Giants’ moves.
    Ted Greenberg and his Mascot Greenberg cheer for the Giants
    As a lifelong New Yorker, I always look for the best place to watch a game with friends. A sports bar that’s not quite a ‘sports bar’ in the way that my show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, is an improv show for people who don’t like improv, a magic show for people who don’t like magic.
    Jake's Saloon in New York City
    And, I have found that perfect ‘sports bar’ in Jake’s Saloon on West 23rd in Chelsea. The bar boasts a casual, exciting, yet relaxed vibe. It’s not filled with overly aggressive football fans who yell at every mistake and spill their beer at every touchdown. Jake’s Saloon is filled with people like me, who want cheering on the Giants to be a fun, yet chill affair. So, thank you, Jake’s Saloon for being such a good host. And, thank you Giants for making my Sunday.

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    10 Reasons Why the Giants Will Beat the Falcons

    Categories: Latest News
    Posted: January 6, 2012
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    On Sunday, January 8th, the New York Giants will take on the Atlanta Falcons in the first round of the NFL play-offs. The showdown will commence at 1:00 pm at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
    My Mascot and I predict a victory for the Giants. In honor of our favorite #10, Eli Manning, here are the top 10 reasons why Big Blue will win.
    #1 The Falcons are a pampered dome team. They are unprepared for air.
    #2 Victor Cruz has secret access to JLo / Jerry Rice Dancing With the Stars audition tapes.
    Victor Cruz, New York Giants
    #3 Eli Manning. Can you say 15 fourth-quarter touchdowns this season?
    #4 New York has Jewish ownership. Atlanta has Jewish ownership. Actually, this one is a toss up. Mazel Tov.
    #5 The Giants have an secret mascot. Jewish. That’s right – Mascot Greenberg!
    #6 Mascot Greenberg trained with Jason Pierre-Paul at the iBowl Back Flip Contest.

    #7 Freddie Falcon, the Atlanta Falcon mascot, is a crack whore.

    #8 The Atlanta Falcons have a cheerleading squad. The Giants have Lisbeth Salander, aka Rooney Mara, whose family has owned at least part of the franchise since its founding in 1925.

    #9 Mascot Greenberg re-enacted all plays of the 2007 Super Bowl in Modell’s varsity shop
    Ted Greenberg and Mascot Greenberg
    #10 In real life, don’t you think a giant would defeat a falcon?

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