Ted Greenberg's The Complete Performer

Starring Emmy Award winning Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 12, 2015

The most romantic day of the year falls on this Saturday. Or at least the most commercially romantic. Roses, hearts filled with chocolates, champagne, overpriced dinners, sappy cards. Millions of those will be given between lovers on Valentine’s Day.
As such, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer will take the weekend off. That way my crew can spend time with their loved ones and enjoy a Saturday night off. I’ll miss being on the stage that night, but we’ll be back the following week, ready to continue our 7th smash season of shows.
And we hope to see you there soon. Until then, Happy Valentine’s Day!


Happy Valentine’s Day

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 13, 2014

We’re in the eye of the storm in New York. Another day, more snow thanks to Storm Pax. Who wants to leave their apartments? Even to celebrate Valentine’s Day? I sense this year people will stay in to binge watch House of Cards since it’s second season will be released on the holiday. Makes sense to me. But, if you do venture out, I have a few suggestions for you.
(3) Robocop — The 1987 Hollywood classic has been remade with hunky Joel Kinnaman from The Killing. Nothing says romance quite like an action flick. The reviews have been solid for the new version. Why not hit the cineplex and enjoy some old fashioned fun?
(2) The Chocolate Room — Another great reason to head over the bridge is this shop. There are two locations — Cobble Hill and a pop up shop in the North Slope. Either way you will not be disappointed. The chocolate is great, and you can get your fix in many ways — cupcakes, candy, and other delicious baked goods.
(1) Art Bar — This adorable Greenwich Village bar has been a downtown staple for two decades. The drink prices are affordable, and best of all, given our current winter condition, the bar boasts a fireplace. Sit by it, warm up, enjoy your drink and a night out with your love.
May you be struck by Cupid’s arrow tomorrow!


Stop and Smell The What(?) This Valentine’s Day

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 14, 2013

Why is this not a bigger story? I know Banana Joe and Swagger have taken over New York’s attention. But those dogs cannot hold a romantic candle to this very odd way to celebrate the holiday of love.
Nothing says love like a Valentine’s Day tour of a sewage plant. I’m not making this up. New Yorkers are the strangest, weirdest people on the planet. And I love them for it. Last year, the Department of Environmental Protection offered a tour of a sewage treatment plant in Brooklyn, and the demand was so high that it’s back this year. And with an additional tour!
New Yorkers are always looking for that one-of-a-kind experience that sets them apart from the other 9 million people in the city. But, how exactly do you convince your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner to tour a sewage treatment plant at 9:30 am? What sort of things must you bargain or compromise to make this happen?
Most of us complain in the summer of the stifling heat and horrible smells that emanate from our glorious city. So, it’s amusing that people would actually subject themselves to the same odors in the name of love or romance. Where’s the chocolate? the flowers? the jewelry? or a wedding atop the Empire State Building? The sewage plant somewhat resembles a Hershey’s Kiss; perhaps that is part of the appeal?
Brooklyn Sewer Plant
NJ.com says it best: Love the one you whiff. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Give the Gift of Romance AND Comedy This Valentine’s Day

Categories: Latest News
Posted: January 31, 2013

I’ve written for a late night TV show. I’ve driven a New York City cab. I’ve worked in risk arbitrage on Wall Street. I’ve run a marathon. But, nothing scares me more than Valentine’s Day. I’ve got a sweet lady, but the pressure to have the perfect day — one that showcases your love and commitment to your special person — is nearly debilitating. One false move and you’re in the doghouse. Or worse, moving toward a break up.
In two weeks, Valentine’s Day will be upon us. If you’ve spent a few years in a relationship, you know you’ve got to keep it fresh year after year. Do something new. Show her that your relationship is worth the effort. If you’re like me, you’ve already done flowers, jewelry, chocolate, the works. So what can set Valentine’s Day 2013 apart from previous years?
If you want to add a touch of humor and a bit of surprise to this year’s celebration of love, I have a suggestion for you. A Telly-gram. That’s right. Telly Savalas, the improbable 70s heartthrob, will either send a special video or make an appearance your significant other’s place of business. Not actually Telly Savalas. The legend has been dead for quite some time. But, comedian Tom DiMenna, whose meta-Telly show “Who Loves You, Baby?” ran for nearly a year in the same space as my Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, channels Telly in a brilliantly savant way. His show was delightful to watch, and I bet the sweet words he purrs to your honey will melt her heart (and crack her up).
Telly Savalas
Here’s the Craigslist ad for Telly-grams. Snap one up now. The video version is only $50 and an in-person appearance (in NYC only) will set you back $80. Roses in this town cost way more than that.

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Top Five Romantic Places in Downtown Manhattan

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 13, 2012

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and there’s no better place to spend it than downtown Manahattan. I recommend checking out the following bars and restaurants, those that are practically dripping in romance, for the big holiday or any Saturday night before my show — Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer — at the SoHo Playhouse.
5. the room. Since opening in 1995, this cozy bar has been a perfect haven for date night. Located on Sullivan Street, the room has a fantastic selection of beers and wine. And it’s intimate for great conversation.
The Room
4. ‘ino. There’s a reason that the original ‘ino on Bedford Street has spawned three other outposts in the city; the simple Italian wine bar concept is a winner throughout. Enjoy delicious paninis, bruschetta and sumptious wine.
'Ino Cafe NYC
3. Las Ramblas. You might walk right past Las Ramblas on West Fourth Street, but you shouldn’t. The mouth-watering tapas pairs nicely with the wine and sangria offered by this boite. Charming and vibrant, it is perfect for spending time with someone you love.
Las Ramblas
2. Kittichai. The gold standard in Thai food, Kittichai transports you to another world with its gorgeous space and wonderful eats. It’s the perfect restaurant to impress your date.
1. La Sirene. What is it about French restaurants that make them so romantic? La Sirene, located near the Holland Tunnel, offers delicious fare and is BYOB (with no corkage fee). Take your date there now.
La Sirene
Happy Valentine’s Day!

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