Ted Greenberg's The Complete Performer

Starring Emmy Award winning Letterman writer, Ted Greenberg!

Cabs of the Future

Categories: Latest News,Off-Broadway Shows,Taxi Cabs
Posted: February 28, 2013

Times are a-changing. This recent Beta Beat article highlights a modern vending machine currently available in and East Village bar. The ultimate goal is to roll these machines out in New York City taxi cabs, and to offer gum and condoms, among other items.
First, credit card machines were installed in the back of cabs, and now condoms may be easily available. This news got me thinking about what else I would like to see in the back of a cab since I drive one for my Off-Broadway comedy show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer. Here are my top three choices for the back of a cab:
taxi cab back seat
3. Coffee — Do you know how many drunk people get in the back of a cab, particularly late at night? Some coffee to sober them up would be a welcome addition to any ride.
2. Barf bag — Are you sensing a theme? Yep, a barf bag would help keep the back of the cab clean. If they can be on airplanes, why not cabs?
1. Back massager
— Everyone would love this. I think the next cabs need to featured a back massager as its seat. Who wouldn’t want to ride there?
What would you like to see in a vending machine in the back of a cab?


Jennifer Lawrence Steals The Show | Oscars 2013

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 25, 2013

Over the next 24 hours, the Oscars will be covered from every angle. The fashion (Helen Hunt paired a cheap dress with nearly a million in jewels! She looked great btw). The host (Did Seth MacFarlane really make that awful joke about Salma Hayek, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz? Leave them alone). The winners (Daniel Day-Lewis makes history. Argo wins Best Picture and Ang Lee takes Best Director). The pool (Did you beat your friends this year?). Shirley Bassey (’nuff said). I will leave that fodder to others.
But, I have two words for my Oscar experience: Jennifer Lawrence. She stole our hearts in Winter’s Bone a couple years ago and was bad ass in The Hunger Games this year. But, the young actress took home Oscar for her brilliant portrayal of a cracked up widow falling in love in Silver Linings Playbook. Before she grabbed the statuette tonight, she’d already made headlines for cursing on the red carpet and for her princess gown (pictured below). Said gown, though, caused a little issue as she walked up the stairs to receive her well deserved award (her nuanced turn was the heart and soul of David O. Russell’s film). Jennifer’s near face plant will go down in the annals of Oscar lore, just like Roberto Benigni climbing on the backs of chairs when he took home the Best Actor Oscar for Life Is Beautiful.
jennifer lawrence
And, how did Jennifer respond to her unfortunate fall? She made light of it in her acceptance speech, and in the press room, where she was asked what went through her mind when she fell. Her response, “A bad word that I can’t say that starts with F.” Ms. Lawrence is an absolute scene-stealer on screen and off. And, I’m not the only charmed by her. Congrats on your win, and here’s to many more.

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What You Need to Know about the Oscars This Sunday

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 21, 2013

One of the biggest nights of the year is upon us. The 85th Annual Academy Awards will be handed out Sunday night, February 24th in Los Angeles. The big show offers a smorgasbord to dissect: the couture, the red carpet interviews, what happens to Ryan Seacrest, who actually wins, the after parties. The host. Family Guy’s Seth MacFarlane takes the reins this year for the first time. On the scale of Oscars’ hosts, I think he’ll fare better than James Franco but not quite as well as Chris Rock.
For the real juice, I asked a couple of Oscars experts for color commentary on show business’ biggest night. I was hunting for trivia to wow people at the Oscar party I’m attending. Now I share it with you. Doug, who has seen my weekly comedy show, Ted Greenberg’s The Complete Performer, twice, and Jay have both seen every film nominated for Best Picture. Not just this year, but every year. And, both of them offered Academy Award trivia to impress your friends with.
Doug’s two tidbits are: “(1) If Argo wins Best Picture, it will be the third year in a row that a showbiz-related movie wins the category (I include King’s Speech as having been show bizzy) and (2) that all five best supporting actor nominees — Alan Arkin (Argo), Robert De Niro (Silver Linings Playbook), Philip Seymour Hoffman (The Master), Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln) and Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained) are previous Oscar winners.”
Jay compared 2013 to 1989: “This year’s Oscars are very reminiscent of the 1989 Oscars in the following ways: The oldest nominated Actress ever is a favorite to win (Jessica Tandy won for Driving Miss Daisy/Emmanuelle Riva for Amour); Daniel Day-Lewis is nominated and will win in both years for Best Actor (My Left Foot/Lincoln); and the favorite for Best Picture did not score a nomination for that film’s director (Driving Miss Daisy had no nomination for director Bruce Beresford/Argo has no nomination for director Ben Affleck). Spooky, no?”
And, given that I have a non-speaking Mascot, I loved this trivia that Jay shared: “Only six actors have received Oscar nominations for non-speaking roles. Jane Wyman won Best Actress for Johnny Belinda, Patty Duke won Best Supporting Actress for The Miracle Worker, John Mills won Best Supporting Actor for Ryan’s Daughter, Holly Hunter won Best Actress for The Piano, Samantha Morton was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in Sweet and Lowdown, and Rinko Kikuchi was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in Babel. Most people include Marlee Matlin on this list for Children of a Lesser God, but she actually does speak throughout the film.” Mascot you have a chance.
Happy Oscar viewing and break a leg Seth MacFarlane.

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Celebrating President’s Day

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 18, 2013

Happy President’s Day! Today, we celebrate the 44 men who have been the leaders of the free world. And, for many of you, it’s a day off, a long enjoyable weekend. A reason not to clock in on Monday and to go shopping since there are so many random sales at department stores. Happy President’s Day indeed.
But, there are other reasons to celebrate. Many of our presidents have been smart, effective and thoughtful men. And, then many of them have displayed some weird habits and hobbies. Today at the One Man Comedy Show Blog, I salute the following Commanders-in-Chief for their oddities and for proving presidents are just men after all.
5. James Garfield. He’s not one of the most famous presidents. Hey, he was assasinated and only served 200 days in office. But, he deserves credit for not only being ambidextrous, but being able to write Latin with one hand and Ancient Greek with the other. That’s a very special talent.
James Garfield
4. James Madison could have been a jockey or coxon.
Since 1900, every elected president has been over 5’9″, but Mr. Madison weighed in at 100 pounds and only 5’4″.
James Madison
3. Richard Nixon, card shark. Rumor has it that Tricky Dick was a whiz at poker. After only a few months, he won enough money to bankroll his first congressional bid. Impressive.
Richard Nixon
2. Warren Harding, opposite of card shark. In fact, he’s supposed to have lost the White House china in a bet. You know you have a gambling problem when you’re betting plates that you don’t technically own. Plates.
Warren Harding
1. John Quincy Adams, nudist. JQA started his mornings with a refreshing nude dip in the Potomac River. Now, is the face of a many you would want to see naked in a river?
John Quincy Adams

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Stop and Smell The What(?) This Valentine’s Day

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 14, 2013

Why is this not a bigger story? I know Banana Joe and Swagger have taken over New York’s attention. But those dogs cannot hold a romantic candle to this very odd way to celebrate the holiday of love.
Nothing says love like a Valentine’s Day tour of a sewage plant. I’m not making this up. New Yorkers are the strangest, weirdest people on the planet. And I love them for it. Last year, the Department of Environmental Protection offered a tour of a sewage treatment plant in Brooklyn, and the demand was so high that it’s back this year. And with an additional tour!
New Yorkers are always looking for that one-of-a-kind experience that sets them apart from the other 9 million people in the city. But, how exactly do you convince your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner to tour a sewage treatment plant at 9:30 am? What sort of things must you bargain or compromise to make this happen?
Most of us complain in the summer of the stifling heat and horrible smells that emanate from our glorious city. So, it’s amusing that people would actually subject themselves to the same odors in the name of love or romance. Where’s the chocolate? the flowers? the jewelry? or a wedding atop the Empire State Building? The sewage plant somewhat resembles a Hershey’s Kiss; perhaps that is part of the appeal?
Brooklyn Sewer Plant
NJ.com says it best: Love the one you whiff. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Richard Pryor On Screen in Brooklyn

Categories: Comedians,Latest News
Posted: February 11, 2013

Richard Pryor elicits jealousy and a comic crush from everyone in the business. I’ve mentioned the comic genius a number of times on this blog. He’s featured in the best bromances and in the Comedians I Love. And, today’s post won’t be my last. While my style is 180 degrees from the late Mr. Pryor’s, I’m a huge fan of his work.
Richard Pryor Live at the Sunset Strip
Through February 20th, you can geek out on his work at BAM Cinematek. See his films in a double feature. On Tuesday, two of his best comedic performances — Stir Crazy and Silver Streak — are on a double bill. That’s a double feature worth trekking to Brooklyn for. Or, if you want to catch some of his more dramatic work, see Lady Sings the Blues tonight. Whatever you do, don’t miss this homage to one of the kings of comedy.
And, I’m not the only one crowing about it. The New York Times hailed it “a savvy film retrospective” while The New Yorker praised him, “Pryor wrenched his humor from a deep vein of emotion that he was also able to mine as an actor.”

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Happy Birthday Grand Central!

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 7, 2013

I love birthdays (if you’ve caught my show, you know this) and New York City (if you’ve read my blog, you know this). They are two of my favorite things. Put them together, and I’m overjoyed. One of the Big Apple’s treasures (and according to Travel + Leisure, one of the most visited tourist attractions in the world) is Grand Central Terminal, often referred to as Grand Central Station.
Happy 100th birthday Grand Central. You look as beautiful today (thanks to a major restoration project begun nearly 20 years ago) as when you opened 100 years ago. That cannot be said for all of us after a century.
In honor of its past 100 years, I highlight my five favorite facts about Grand Central:
Grand Central Terminal
(5) A fact to prove Mayor Bloomberg right. The ceiling in Grand Central was restored to its sky blue glory in 1998, and it was determined that tar and nicotine — from back in the days when people were allowed to smoke in the station — were the culprits of staining the lovely ceiling. If Michael Bloomberg had been mayor then, he would have found a way to turn it into a gruesome anti-smoking campaign.
(4) Mindbending love story was shot here. One of cinema’s biggest casting gamble — Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet as lovers — worked perfectly for Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind, a quirky film about willingly erasing your memory of former lovers. Told out of order and in a fractured, lyrical tone, the film featured an important scene in Grand Central. Unforgettable.
Eternal Sunshine
(3) Making art amid commerce. For twenty years (1923 – 1944), the Grand Central School of Art operated in the building. Many of the artists who studied there went on to gain fame and influence the following generations. That’s right. Stuart Davis. William de Kooning. Mary Goldsmith. Helen Dryden. Yes, they were all students at the school.
(2) There’s a reason for everything. The constellations on the gorgeous ceiling is painted on backwards. The claims are that it it to reflect God’s view from the sky. But, I don’t know any New Yorker — religious or not — who is buying this. No matter how artful the suggestion, it needs to be based in reality or as they say all over the 5 boroughs, “Fuggedaboutit.”
(1) Angelina Jolie in the station.
That’s right. Back in the mid-90s, a film called Hackers (oh, who cares what it was called) featured a big scene at the station. All you need to know is that Ms. Jolie was there. Enough said.
Angelina Jolie

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Top 5 Blackouts of All Time | Thanks Super Bowl!

Categories: Latest News
Posted: February 4, 2013

Death, taxes and the Super Bowl. There are certain things you expect to work like clockwork. The United States’ largest telecast of the biggest game is one of them. Over-the-top commercials, lots of pizza, cheerleaders, a fierce halftime show (thanks Beyonce for living up to that) and men on the gridiron. But, you never expect that the lights will go out. In honor of last night’s very unexpected blackout, I take a look at some of the New York’s biggest blackouts ever.
5) Hurricane Sandy — Much of lower Manhattan (including my apartment) were plunged into darkness in late October 2012 when Hurricane Sandy rattled my beloved city. See New York Magazine cover. For nearly a week, the lights were out below 26th Street. No heat. No running water. No restaurants open. No subway service. Nothing. Nada. Did I mention the city had a cold spell then too? The city that never sleeps was suddenly forced to. It was not fun or funny. And, some parts of our battered subway system are still not back up to speed.
new york mag blackout cover
4) August 14, 2003 — On a very hot day, due to an overtaxed electric grid, the lights go out across the Eastern seaboard for 24 hours plus. This blackout — once everyone realized that it was not terrorist-related — was a lot more fun than Hurricane Sandy. Neighbors sat on stoops, played cards and lit their streets with flashlights. And, some people took advantage of the forced mood lighting and got busy. If we’re forced to stay home, New Yorkers will find a way to par-tay.
3) November 9, 1965 — This blackout was a doozy. 30 million people across seven states and Canada lost power. Not all parts of New York were in darkness, but most parts of the city were. There were some interesting theories about this blackout. UFOs. That’s right some conspiracy theorists felt that aliens had caused it. Perhaps that rumor spread because half of the FM radio stations and the TV stations went off the air during the blackout.
2) July 13 -14, 1977 — This was the grand daddy of blackouts in terms of the scars it left across the five boroughs. This one only affected New York City, but in a big way. In fact, the Wikipedia page about this blackout claims that the major looting during this lights out period led to a greater dissemination of hip hop. That’s right, according to the page, record and electronic stores were supposedly severely looted, and the equipment stolen was used to proliferate the fledgling genre. I’m not making this up.
1) Super Bowl 2013 — OK, this one didn’t take place in New York, where next year’s Super Bowl will be held, but still its ramifications could be felt all the way from New Orleans to the Big Apple. How the hell does the Super Bowl go dark for a little bit? This is unacceptable. And where were those glow in the dark Black Eyed Peas outfits from a few years back? They could certainly have lighted half of the stadium. C’mon. We can do better than this America. For the big game? God bless Beyonce.

Black Eyed Peas Super Bowl

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